Eat to Live

    My whole life I have struggled with self confidence and self respect.  In societies eyes, I'm "overweight", or "plus size". For some people that could be bad.  For me it's not necessarily bad, just annoying.  My Mom always says "Is there anything you can do to fix it this second?"  Yes I can, but I'm just too lazy, which is bad. I need to change that.  I would love to be that kind of person who runs when they are bored.  Instead... I eat when I'm bored.  I live to eat, not eat to live.  Recently I've been having stomach problems, not wanting to eat, and sleeping all the time.  It's helping with the eating, but I still feel crappy.  I don't know how to explain it.  It's like I'm emotionally drained, or something.  I don't even know.  It's so frustrating.  My Mom tries and talks to me like she knows exactly what I'm going through.  And maybe she does, but it certainly doesn't feel like it.  Don't you just hate it when your parents try to convince you that they understand everything, but in their head their probably going, "Nope, don't understand any of this!"
  I hope your parents understand you!
xoxo Haley

Sweater Weather

     Well, I'm back!  I haven't been able to write anything for a while, but I can now!  So, here goes... 
       It's finally getting colder (at least where I live) and it is WONDERFUL! Not having to sweat proof my makeup, or get all sweaty all the time.  I love the cold, well not too cold but just right.  I LOVE bundling up in a cute sweater and boots.  It's not quite at that point yet, it was a little warmer today.  But I know it's coming.  I hope you all have wonderful sweater weather!
xoxo Haley

Camp at Last!

     Well, you guessed it, it's girls camp next week.  Finally, after so much preparation, and hard work it is here at last.   For the past 5 years I have been going to girls camp every summer.  It has been the best time of year.  Where people grow closer, and learn about the gospel.  Yes, it's hard and outside with the bugs.  But it's worth it.   I know some girls that went the first day convinced they were going to hate it, and left loving it.  Girls camp isn't just....Camping, it's something more.  The hard work. The service.  The bonding.  I don't know how to explain it.  Let's just say, you had to be there.  ;) 

I love girls camp, it has helped me so much with my testimony.  I know it can help yours.

xoxo Haley

Summer Vibes

    When I think of Summer I think of; spending time at the beach, with friends, go shopping, listening to your long wanted summer playlist, getting that perfect tan.... Everyone's summer is defined differently.  I thought this summer would be fun, and full of those things that made my summer vibes.   It hasn't been, at least so far.  It's been planning girls camp, and sitting at my computer...doing nothing.  Complete boredom.  It's frustrating to see my summer being wasted away on my computer, which is what I'm doing right now... Because there's nothing else to do.  

   I wish, I wish with all my heart to be in a foreign country on the beach, tanning away, sipping lemonade.  

Find your summer vibes, don't waste it. 

xoxo Haley

Life with a Sister

     Everyone who has a sister, or even a sibling understands that being kind to that sibling is hard sometimes.   For me being nice to my sister is extremely challenging.   She has this thing where she talks about herself all the time and expects me to remember all of it.  But when I say one thing, she doesn't even care.  It's so self centered.  She doesn't understand that other people like talking about their problems too.  I bet if I let her, she could talk for hours about herself.  Sad right?  

   She can go from happy and bouncy to yelling in the span of 10 seconds.  We all have to center our lives around hers.  She expects our mother to drive her everywhere she wants to go whenever. . . . . . It makes me sad to think where she will be after she moves out.  Making everyone miserable, just to please her.   I hope to God someone will snap her out of whatever funk she's in.  She hasn't always been like this.  
xoxo Haley

Finally June

   Happy June 1st everyone!  Even though the actual first day of summer isn't till the 20th, it feels like summer already.  The sun is shining, the bees are buzzing, and the flowers are blooming!  

    This summer I've been wanting to go visit my cousin Gabi. It's taken a lot of work convincing my parents to let me fly half way across the country to visit people.  I've had to be a complete princess, which is fine but it's still hard.  I've talked to them several times about this but it's never gotten to the point where they just had to say yes or no.  It's at that point now.  I'm really anxious about what they are going to say.  I've put so much into going on this trip, I don't want to make all my work in vain.  I'm really excited to fly on an airplane! I've never been on one before...  I know I know, it's kinda sad.  

   Girls Camp is getting really close, it's only about 3 weeks away.  I'm happy, but it's kinda stressful trying to get all the stuff done before the 20th.  We've done so much to prepare, but still have so much do to.  UGH! 
  
   I hope everyone's summer is wonderful!
xoxo Haley
   

True self

     How does one know that you truly are a selfish person?   For me, it was an awful realization.  On my sister's birthday, which for most is all about them, I wanted it to be about me... Not like, get me this, take me here.  More like instead of being super nice to her, I was meaner.  When Mom took her to get lunch, I wanted to go too.  I'm not sure if that's being selfish, or if it's not wanting to be left out?  But it was really hard seeing her get all the attention and not me.  Now that is being selfish.  But not all of it was.  I've wanted to change. I don't want to be that person who is a selfish brat.  Sometimes It's hard to even know how to change.  

      I've had this problem since I was a young child where I can't explain myself very well using speech.  I explain better writing it.  Which can be very frustrating.  I can't go through life writing everything just so I get my point across...  So I made this blog.  Where I can say what I want... Without stuttering, or saying something stupid.  It's a lot harder than I thought writing a blog.  Hence the reason why I haven't posted anything in so long...  Sorry about that.  I will try to do better.  But no promises ;) 
xoxo Haley