True self

     How does one know that you truly are a selfish person?   For me, it was an awful realization.  On my sister's birthday, which for most is all about them, I wanted it to be about me... Not like, get me this, take me here.  More like instead of being super nice to her, I was meaner.  When Mom took her to get lunch, I wanted to go too.  I'm not sure if that's being selfish, or if it's not wanting to be left out?  But it was really hard seeing her get all the attention and not me.  Now that is being selfish.  But not all of it was.  I've wanted to change. I don't want to be that person who is a selfish brat.  Sometimes It's hard to even know how to change.  

      I've had this problem since I was a young child where I can't explain myself very well using speech.  I explain better writing it.  Which can be very frustrating.  I can't go through life writing everything just so I get my point across...  So I made this blog.  Where I can say what I want... Without stuttering, or saying something stupid.  It's a lot harder than I thought writing a blog.  Hence the reason why I haven't posted anything in so long...  Sorry about that.  I will try to do better.  But no promises ;) 
xoxo Haley

Onwards and Upwards

     Change is a good thing.  But sometimes it can be hard.  With the help of the people that support us we can accomplish anything.  

    I'm about to graduate high school, and I have so many opportunities for different colleges to go to.  So many people are telling me I can do anything.   Sometimes I get scared to go out in the "big bad" world all alone with no one to help me.  But then I realize I will always have someone.  If it's my friends or my family, they will always be there to pick me up if I fall.  For a while I didn't want to even look into colleges because I didn't want life to change.  But this change was for the good.  I just needed to accept that.  So my goal is to graduate high school and go to college away from home.  And that is something I know I can do.  If you set your mind to something and you have the right motivation, you can do anything!
xoxo Haley

Self Love

     Today on Facebook someone tagged me in a "Self love challenge".   It was to post any pictures of yourself at any point in your life to show that you are beautiful no matter what. 

   Growing up everyone told me I was pretty, for a while I believed them.  It was all great until someone told me they were lying to me and I was ugly.  It really shook my confidence.  After that I didn't like talking about the fact that I was overweight.  I was ashamed of myself.  And still to this day am I overweight, but something has changed.  The person who tagged me in the challenge is my best friend.  I love her because she makes me a better person.  She showed me that you can be curvy and still be gorgeous!   She still tells me almost everyday that I am beautiful.  That is probably one of the only reasons why I love myself now.  

   Love yourself, don't hate.  I challenge all of you to post pictures of your beautiful selves of any social media and share the love.  I love you all.
xoxo Haley

Prom?

    Prom.  The night of every girls life where they get to dress up in a gown and get their hair and makeup done, and dance the night away.  It's all glam and glitter and no one is the wiser.  In all the best movies and Tv shows all you see is the prom it self, and sometimes the girl buying the dress.  But you never see the stress of saving the money to get the salon appointment, or the jewelry, more importantly the dress it self.  All people ever see in movies suggests that either the dress doesn't cost that much, or the money appears out of thin air.  I KNOW that isn't true.. 
      Prepping for prom is hard work.  Getting the makeup that DOESN'T make you break out with severe acne, finding  the correct shoes that won't make your feet feel like they are covered with blisters, the clutch.  UGH! It's all too much.  But it's seems to be worth it once you pull up in your limo and dance the night away with the man of your dreams... Prom... Leading up to it may be horrible, but the night of is perfection.  
xoxo Haley

When Life gives you Lemons...

    We all know the saying "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade." Right?   Life hasn't been the best for me lately.  I've been struggling with a lot of things.  I've noticed that it gets better when I have the help of Heavenly Father.  You know how we are supposed to do all those things like, pray daily and read scriptures, for some reason I just can't make a habit of dong those things.  It's really hard for me.  We all have challenges, and we all can concur them with the help of God.  There seems to be a pattern doesn't there?  If we have problems and we need help, ask God and he will help you.  Most people think that they can shout to the high heavens that they accept God and that makes them "saved".  The truth is it takes a lot more than that to "save" you.  

     It talks about in the Book of Mormon, Moroni 10:4 it reads: And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.     

I know these things are true.  
xoxo Haley

Family is just...

   My house was full of relatives.  Cousins, Aunts and Uncles.  For some that is cause for celebration! For me it meant getting teased till I passed out, picking food that didn't have anything that anyone was allergic to, and making the dogs try to behave which NEVER worked.  I loved my family, but they drove me CRAZY!  All the crazy led me to believe that I was NOT a family person.  On the other hand, family was great!  Maybe just this part of my family was annoying.  I have no clue.  Well, better get back to my crazy weekend... Wish me luck...
xoxo Haley

LIfe sucks...Period

             You know that feeling you get when you first wake up in the morning when everything is perfect for those few seconds?  Mine were sort of hard to enjoy when the painful realization of reality struck.  I had started my period for the second time that month.  (Now, if you don't want to hear me rant about how my period sucks, please feel free too exit this post.)  I think all women will appreciate how I describe the feeling of dread waking up just knowing you are going to start.  The craving of anything and everything chocolate!  And don't ever mention the cramps! UGH!  Cramps are AWFUL!!!! My mom didn't ever get cramps till after she had children.  And most horrible of all the hormones... All the up and down and up and down.   Happy one second, screaming another.  For me I always know when I'm about to start, because I get really hormonal the week BEFORE! Which is awful for my family!  
     My period has been messed up from the beginning for some unknown reason, it's irregular, and super crampy.  It's horrible.  Share your period stories.  Ask for advice.  As most of you can probably tell, I'm very comfortably sharing these types of things, it's not something we should be hiding.  If we hid it, men wouldn't see the pain we are going through every month to have their children.  Make a bold move, and share.  
xoxo Haley